Monday, February 16, 2009

My Funny Valentine


Hope everyone had a good Valentine’s Day weekend.    Mine was certainly interesting to say the least.

I have never been the Valentine’s kind of girl.  

Flowers are pretty but they die. 

My favorite jewelry are my wedding rings.

I always like a cute and funny card.

And then there’s chocolate….which changes my whole opinion of the special day.


The hubby and I don’t usually do anything special for V-Day.  Maybe a card, but certainly nothing big.

This year, the hubby decided to go big for the day.

Brace yourself for this…..especially those of you who REALLY know me.


I am almost embarrassed.  Yes, I AM.


We went and had a couples massage.  (Teresa, STOP laughing).


Two words for y’all:  AWK  WARD


I have had one massage in my life and let me tell you it was weird enough alone.


And to make it worse (for me), the hubby informed me in the car on the way to the Spa that our massagers would be a man and woman.

Hold up, I said!!  You mean to tell me some strange man is going to be rubbing on my muscles with oil?!  And some strange woman is going to be rubbing on your muscles with oil.

Uh huh.

It was too late to bail.  The money was paid and we were committed. 

Hans and Helga took us to our dark room where the massage tables were covered with rose petals…. which made me bust out into laughter.  I think I would have gone with chocolate, but nobody asked me. 

The music playing over head was Zamfir, if I’m not mistaken, and was accompanied by the sounds of trickling water.  Which had something other than a relaxing effect on me, if ya’ know what I mean!

Before I knew it, our hour was over with Hans and Helga and their magical oily hands.   (Thank goodness)

My favorite part:  the pretty dang hot towels Hans put on my back for the first half

Most awkward part:  besides the whole thing, was when Hans rubbed my EARS?!   How about the hubby informed me that Helga did NOT massage his ears.  Hmmmm….


It was nice surprise from the hubby but it certainly was different.  I can’t exactly say I would do it again tomorrow.


I told him next year just buy me something from Peterbrooke Chocolatier.  Because I certainly don’t feel awkward eating chocolate. 


Queen B said...

Now that is funny. I would pretty much suffer through any awkward moments for someone to massage me.

Kristin said...

I am still laughing about that one! Even though your hubby was trying to be romantic and all! At least he thought enough to do something!

P.S.He loves you.. said...

LOL! I can so relate..and yet I'm a little envious that your hubby did that for you.awhhh!

jennifer said...

#1... Helga would have to out-weigh my by 100 pounds and out-age my by 20 years for me to be comfortable with her touching MY sweetheart.

#2 ... I wouldn't give a rip what Hans looked like as long as hot towels and ear massages were involved.

A seriously cool Vday gift!!

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Funny stuff. I'm not into the whole ambience part of massages, the music, the scents, the sounds, etc. I just really want somebody to fix the PAIN in my back. But everybody wants it to be an experience!

Leigh said...

Ok, dear... honest I had to change my panties after that one. You made me LOL! I would feel the same way. I would feel WEIRD. And to have some maan rubbing me while some woman was rubbing on Big Daddy. OH, gosh...I have to go tot he bathroom again. My bladder atin what it used to be. That is far out funny! Priceless. Really.

Luanne said...

The two word description of your massage cracked me up--awk ward. I can relate!

Kirby3131 said...

I don't like anyone touching me in that type of way -- so I wouldn't even have gone. I'm so proud of you doing that even though you were uncomfortable.

Shannon ( said...

HI-larious! I think you were some sort of violated with that ear massage!

The Southern Family said...

Oh we are so totally alike! Awk ward indeed! Totally funny!

Deanna said...

I wish we lived closer to each other because other than the obvious kinship with love for our Roll Tide, we have so much in common. I feel the same way about massages. I have two gift certificates for massages in that have expired because I just can't bring myself to go get them. I had one while at the beach because my husband "surprised" me. While having it the guy's nose actually DRIPPED on my back. ACCCKKK! The most disgusting moment of my life. I went and took a shower in Clorox and swore to never have another massage again.

Holly said...

Hahaha! That's really funny, especially the ear rubbing....uh..what!? o.O

Rachel said...

That would be my nightmare valentines gift!! I'm with you - I hate that sort of thing. I won a $100 gift certificate to a spa one time and let it expire. My friends got so mad at me. . .

Teresa said...

I don't know what made me laugh harder. The thought of you getting your ears rubbed by Hans.....or reading the words "Teresa STOP laughing" and precisely the moment I started. You know me too well. And I know you too well. Which makes me laugh again. And I will continue to laugh the rest of the day at the thought of it. Oh yes ma'am I will.

Jules from "The Roost" said...

LOL! That cracks me up :)

Kasey Hunt said...

If you ever get the opportunity to go again call me! I'll take your place. I'm a M.T. and I am in need of one!!! But I understand it's not for everyone!