Out of the Mouths of Babes

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world

and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me..

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Happy Mother's Day, y'all!

Flashback Friday -- The Cook

This week's Flashback Friday picture takes me back to somewhere around 1979-ish. And it will probably get me a little bit of trouble.....which has never stopped me before.


At this time, my family lived in Hoover, AL in a split level house on a cul-de-sac. Just looking at this picture reminds me of so many things. Even though I was only 11-ish, I can remember spending weekends working in the yard, camel crickets always in the basement, getting out of bed in the middle of the night for an electrical "fire", and watching the United States hockey team win the "Miracle on Ice".

But none of that is what this picture is about. It's about the person in the picture.






Yes, ladies and gentlemen, standing amidst the 1970's kitchen decor is my Momma. This is a picture of my mom in her "element"....the kitchen. During my childhood, my mom always served up three square meals. I'm not talking about Hamburger Helper either (thanks, Mom). Of course, this is not the place I'll talk about her making me sit at the table until my slimy and disgusting beets were gone.

She always served a good breakfast before school....one of my favorites being honey buns warmed in the oven. She packed a mean lunch in the Tupperware lunch box, which was often not complete without a note on the napkin saying "I love you". If my memory serves me correctly, she had a rotating dinner menu.....a dish she called "Rancho Beans" was another favorite of mine.

If you look closely in the photo there are a couple of other items in the photo that remain in my mom's kitchen to this day. Through the years, the tea pots have been replaced, because they are used on a daily basis. Her tea is always fresh, not too sweet, and decaffeinated only!

My favorite thing in that photo is the cookie jar, just to the right of the stove. Inside, my mom's chocolate chip cookies.....voted the "Best on Earth", by her family! Throughout my years in school, those cookies were requested for every classroom party. Mom, continues to keep the cookie jar full every time we go home.


Thank you Mom, for feeding me such great meals except the beets. You are so much more than just a great cook. You are a wonderful Mother in EVERY aspect of life. I love you dearly and hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!!

All four kids of the Best Mom on the planet, circa about 1980.

Head 'Em Up and Move 'Em Out

Aren't you relieved that we have finally reached Day 3, the final day of our 5th grade camping extravaganza.

Thanks for enduring it all, but this is the stuff grandparents live for!

Needless to say, everyone in the camp got a better night's rest than our first night. I think we all were exhausted from our full day of fun activities and there was no food delivery truck before dawn! The boys reported they got to sleep before the snoring warthog dad did!

Before heading back home, the kids participated in couple more educational activities and I took a few more pictures (because the first 150 photos were not enough).








Lego-Man and his buddy learned about the Western Cedar Tree and then had to teach everyone in their group what they learned. Raise your hand if you knew pencils can be made with cedar wood??




The kids also had a map reading class that wouldn't have been complete without a scavenger hunt! It was all fun and games until my boy took a little tumble into the nature. He scratched up his hands and leg and he was done!


Before we pointed the horse towards the house, I finally got a couple of mother and son photos (much to someone's dismay):

And here was the view from my rear-view mirror for my entire trip home:







Guess who wants to go to this camp for a week in the summer???

Roughing It- DAY 2

I got a jump start on Day 2 around 0445......meaning 4:45 AM.....before the sun was up....AND 2 hours before I HAD to be up.

Why 0445?? Well that's the time the food delivery truck backed its way into the camp area. Yes, backing up. And we all know what sound accompanies a truck backing up!

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP........now multiply that times 20 minutes!!!!

SERIOUSLY!

Anywhoo, as the moms got ready and met up with our boys, we discovered that most of them had one thing in common....not much sleep. Not because they were giddy with the excitement of being at camp, but because So-and-So's Dad "snored like a warthog", "snored the paint off the walls" and "kept us up all night".

I broke the rules and let Lego-Man have caffeinated coffee, or he wasn't going to make it.


The highlight of Day 2 was an event the camp is known for, the re-enactment of the Underground Railroad. The campers go through a series of stations around the camp that allows them to "experience" situations the slaves may have encountered while trying to get to freedom.

The 5th graders just completed the book "Listen for the Whippoorwill" which is a fictional book about a little girl who attempts to escape from her life as a slave on a plantation.

The children played the part of a traveling choir. That was their cover story as they began their journey on the Underground Railroad.

The camp counselors took their roles seriously and even warned the parents that, at times, the intensity level would get pretty high.

And look who paid the price for looking the landowner in the eye, after being asked to keep his head down:



Yep, that's my boy! I thought the intensity of the moment might intimidate him, but clearly it did not.

As the children moved through the different stations, you could feel the tension level drop as they were moved to more secure areas, until they finally reached the area of freedom.

I think most of the kids and grown-ups enjoyed this activity. And, as a parent, I felt like it was a great way for the kids to get a VERY SMALL idea of what life may have been like for those traveling this trail to freedom.


After a delicious lunch (corndogs with a side of mac-n-cheese), we headed back out on the trails for a few more activities:

The "Sensory Trail" where the kids are blindfolded
and have to figure out what objects they find along the trail.


A brief lesson in Botany.

We all wrapped up Day 2 with a camp fire by the lake. The counselors and even some parents entertained us with a little skit action. My stomach hurt from laughing so hard!!

Awkward moment of the evening came when I had to try and explain to my son's friend what the word "ghetto" means.

As we walked back to our cabin, WITH flashlights, we looked for spiders in the woods. We were told that if you shine your flashlight just right into the woods, you can see the reflection from the spider's eyes.

Umm, yea, just for the record I didn't slow down the pace just to see spider's eyes in the woods. After all, I could look a spider in the eye in the not-so-privacy of my very own cabin!



Day 2, DONE, and I survived!


Barely.

Roughing It- DAY 1

This past week I had the privilege of escorting Lego-Man and almost his entire 5th grade class to a YMCA camp located here in God's country, Alabama.

It was a 2 night, 3 day field trip taken each year by the 5th grade class at our school.

Before I committed myself to chaperoning on this trip I had to clarify one little thing. Would I have to stay in a cabin with the 5th grade girls? Because I only have expertise, right now, on 3rd grade girls.

Nope, the moms of the boys got to stay in a cabin all by themselves. No boys, no girls, just grown women. Check out our DELUXE camp accommodations:




Check out my bunk:




How about these bathrooms:




Too bad you can't see the huge dead spider in the shower, that lost it's life to a half a can of Lysol by another mom within the first hour of our stay!

Unfortunately, the dad's who escorted their daughters on this trip got stuck in the cabins with the other dads and their sons. *snicker* *snort* I mean, too bad they didn't get their own cabin.

Once we got our cabins situated and had lunch we literally hit the ground running.....i.e. hiking. The camp has planned educational activities to teach the kids a variety of outdoors topics.

We began day one with a couple of get to know you exercises, grown-ups included (oh joy).

Check out Lego-Man getting into the spirit of one of the games:

For a little explanation, he had to change 5 things about himself and then the person across from him had to guess what he changed. It must admit these games were a lot of fun and allowed me to meet and develop a "bond" with some of the other moms.


Next we began our official hiking segment of the day, we stopped in the woods to learn about predators and prey. Who wouldn't want their classroom to look like this:

(kids faces are blurred for privacy)

The highlight of Lego-Man's day was our last daylight activity.....CANOEING!

Notice I said, our last DAYLIGHT activity. Because after dinner we went on a "NIGHT HIKE". Yes, that's right....at night.

In the dark.

NO FLASHLIGHTS allowed.

Oooookay.

And, ummm, for obvious reasons, no photos were taken.

The cool factor was quite high for the kids, but this middle aged mom was a bit skeptical of hiking in the woods in the dark. I believe another mom can be quoted as saying, "this in the dark stuff is making me nauseous!"

The kids (and adults who were not nauseous) learned a little bit about the night sky including how to find the North Star. Which was right up mine and my boy's alley. We also participated in a couple of experiments on luminescence. F-U-N.


The night hike completed our activities for day 1. Since day 1 at camp technically got started around noon, I could barely stand the thought of a WHOLE day of camp ahead of us on day 2.

Day 1 wore this ol' gal out.....stay tuned for Day 2.