Knock, Knock

The kids came running out the back door yesterday to inform me that "somebody is at the door."



Naturally, I said, "who is it?"



Princess: "It's those guys dressed in BLACK and YELLOW!!"



LegoMan: "It's the Mortemists."



Me: "The WHO?!"



LegoMan: "You know, those guys we saw walking around the neighborhood the other day."




Me: "You mean the MORMONS??"


LegoMan and Princess: "OH!"



Welcome to MY world. Enjoy your stay.

Big Bang Theory

So you all remember learning about the Big Bang Theory in high school, right?

Well, the Princess and I had a discussion about a different "Bang Theory" and it went a little something like this:


Me: "Princess, I've got you an appointment to get your hair cut next week."

P: "I think I want to get my hair cut short again for school."

Me: "Ok, but you need to decide if you really want it short again because I thought you said you were growing it out."

P: "Well, I think I want it short again" [LONG pause] "Mom, how do you get bangs? I mean, when I had them when I was little did you, like, get them for me or where did I get them?"

Me: [mouth open, blank stare] "Princess, the lady that cuts your hair makes them from your hair."

P: "Oh!" [takes large wad of hair from the front of her head and places it over her face] "So, like, she would cut all of this really short?"

Me: "Not exactly THAT much of your hair. Just a little bit from the front."

P: [LONG pause] "Wait, so what do you do if you don't want your bangs anymore?"

Me: [insert a little laughing] "Ummm, you have to grown them back out again. Like we did when you were little."

P: "Oh!"




For those of you who knew me back in the day.....I am no expert on Big Bangs; however, I certainly cornered the market on BAD bangs:





Will the Princess stay with a cleaned up version of this:

Or go back to this:




Stay tuned........




**UPDATE*** May I present the Princess and her new do (complete with a few wispy bangs):

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world

and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me..

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Happy Mother's Day, y'all!

Where my kids at??

This is my newest favorite video on YouTube and I had to share it with my blogging peeps. I think this is marketing at it's finest.

Greetings and Salutations

Look who's back at the typewriter.....that's 80's talk for look who's back at the KEYBOARD.


I'm not sure why I always feel compelled to explain when I step back and take a break away from my Big Fat Greek Blog. I just do.

When I was encouraged to start this little corner of the Internet, I had no idea what I was doing or where I would go with this whole blog thing. I still have no clue what I am doing, but I am still here over 3 years later and 350+ posts. I even have over 70 followers, how cRaZY is that? Of course, I have no idea how many of those 74 followers actually read my posts. But I HAVE followers! Yesterday I logged in to find that I had lost 1 follower and for some reason it hurt my feelings.

I'll be honest, sometimes I think about shutting this place down.....wondering if anybody in the blog-o-sphere would actually miss the GRITS place. But, ya' know, I didn't exactly create this space with anybody else in mind. I never dreamed that if I "built" it, "they" would come. Through this blog I have met so many people from, literally, all over the world....some of whom I have met in real life and others I hope to meet one day. The blog world is a huge place, filled to the brim with some very wonderful people. If you don't know it....click on some of my blog links in the sidebar for a start.


This space was initially created for family members to keep up with us and somehow it turned into a place for me to foster my slightly creative side. When I say creative, I sure as heck don't mean grammatically correct, hanging on the edge of your seat, or thought provoking writings. My middle and high school English teachers would shudder to hear that I was writing material that other people actually read. My book reports and term papers often looked like someone turned a toddler with a red ink pen loose on them . But those memories didn't stop me from blogging....no siree! I have overcome the wrath of the red pen, because I'm strong like that.


If it's not blatantly obvious, humor plays a HUGE role in my life. I really like to make people laugh and I LOVE to laugh. Too bad "funny" is not on the spiritual gift list, but would it be bold for me to call it my ministry? People tell me I am funny. My mother thinks I should write books like Erma Bombeck.....which cracks me up! Besides, she's my mom and she's required to say stuff like that. (I love you, Mom) However, I wouldn't say I am the funniest person on Earth; but, I do like to incorporate humor in almost every aspect of my life on a daily basis.


I have spent the last 15 years of my life in the medical field both as Critical Care Nurse and now as a Nurse Anesthetist. My job can be VERY stressful. I have seen and dealt with a lot of heaviness and sadness on a regular basis. For me, humor is every bit a part of my uniform as much as my ID badge. I have been known to lighten the mood before surgery by telling a male patient, "I think you will be very pleased with your breast implants!"


This blog is just another outlet for me.....a place where laughing is the rule of the land most days. I might not be here regularly and you might not even notice. You know what? That's ok with me.

I don't really have a personal mission statement, but if I did it would have something to do with using humor to bring a smile to at least one person's face each day.