Tuesday, January 19, 2010

For Me?

Dear Enormously Large Pink Striped Lingerie Company,

Today I came home to find your latest and not-so greatest catalog in MY mailbox. Now, there are a lot of people who will find this completely hysterical, starting with me.

Ms. Victoria, the truth is your "secret" is, well, not really a secret. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a secret as: kept from knowledge or view : hidden.

And, honey, there ain't nothing kept from view in your catalog. Perhaps you should have gone with something more like Victoria's Great Reveal.

The pictures on the front and back of your catalog, alone, should require it to be encased in a brown paper wrapper! I imagine the male postal workers have a hard time focusing on their routes on the days this catalog is delivered. Perhaps the government would like to waste billions more of taxpayers dollars researching this. You know, in the name of increasing mail delivery and productivity.

I suspect my name got put on your mailing list after purchasing a gift card for a family member. Let me be clear, if I had wanted to receive your catalog I would have registered for it. I did not.

Now that I have that off my chest.....ahem, no pun intended.....I must get back to finding out how to cancel my latest and not so greatest catalog subscription.


Sincerely,

A girl who likes a little more SECRET than Victoria

3 comments:

Rachel said...

LOL!

When Chris was a bachelor living with two other bachelors that were all trying to be good, pure, Godly men, there was a catalog of that variety that KEPT being delivered to their house. They ALL called and begged for it to be canceled every month, but it just kept coming.

We all had our theories that the person in charge of their mailing list might live in a very hot place and have a pitchfork tail...

:)

jennifer said...

Been there cancelled that.

My OTHER gripe is preteen girls wearing the PINK label Victoria Secret clothes. It shouldn't bother me, but V.S. booty writing pants on a kid with braces just makes me cringe.

Muthering Heights said...

Um yeah...I like to look through the catalog, but I don;t want the WHOLE world knowing that I might be wearing something from the front cover! Eeeps!