The Labrador Diaries -- Volume 3

If curiosity killed the cat.....then what does it do to Labradors???


The Alpha-Dog was out with this container pouring water on her plants....guess what, it's not just for plants! It's an upside down water bowl and we LOVED it!







Sophie: The little girl left this on the couch. After several attempts at making it mine, the humans let me wear it around for a bit. It looks prettier than it feels.

Allie: I LOVE the taste of the plants in our backyard. I wasn't sure if the humans would notice some of the branches missing on the plants. The Alpha-Dog did...I don't think she saw me hiding from her?!





Last Wednesday, we finally got to go for a ride in one of those big things with wheels! We loved it so much. The man human left us at this little yellow building and we even got to spend the night. When he came back to pick us up, our bellies hurt and we had to wear these ridiculous things everyday! We are the laughing stock of the house and our backyard. The dog next door, just couldn't seem to get hold of himself as we made our debut in the yard.

We do not like the cone of shame!

Meet our newest hero, Doug:







We've only been allowed to go outside for just a few minutes. No chasing squirrels, no running amok, and absolutely no rough housing.....doctor's orders. We've been living life in the slow lane and behind bars:










Don't tell the Alpha-Dog this, but we sure will be glad when we get these ridiculous radar dishes off our head and are back protecting our outdoor domain! We're almost certain she's enjoyed having us inside all day long on her 4 day weekend.....or not.

Home School Much? No thanks.

So, yesterday I had a day off.....I slept in until 8AM, I had no plans for the day. I was minding my own business, watching the Today Show and sipping on a delicious cup of hot coffee....when my phone rang.

"Hello"

"Hi Mama"

"Hi Princess, what's the matter?"

"My stomach hurts."

"It does?"

"Yes ma'am. My teacher gave me some Pepto, but it still hurts."

Never mind the rest of the conversation except this, "Princess, tell your teacher I am on the way to get you and that you need all of your school work for today."


I picked up the Princess, her hurting stomach, and her full backpack from school around 10AM. I quickly assessed the situation and knew there was no immediate danger of stomach problems, so we took a detour on the way home to Hobby Lobby. We had to get all the supplies needed for a t-shirt book report project due this Friday.

We got home, the Princess quickly threw her backpack down, plopped on the couch and almost immediately informed me there was nothing to watch on TV. I told her it didn't matter because the TV was being turned off because she had school work that needed to be done.

I believe there was an loud HUFF-ing sound as I made her sit down at the table to begin Mama's Home School for the "sick".

We did math sheets, science, grammar and got most of her t-shirt project done. Of course, I'm not sure who was tortured more by Mama's Home School.....me or her.

For those of you who home school and to those that are called to teach.....BLESS YOU and THANK YOU!


(FYI, we've seen the doctor about the Princess and her stomach. No 8 year old child was harmed in the writing of this post.)

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world

and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me..

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Happy Mother's Day, y'all!

Where my kids at??

This is my newest favorite video on YouTube and I had to share it with my blogging peeps. I think this is marketing at it's finest.

Flashback Friday -- The Cook

This week's Flashback Friday picture takes me back to somewhere around 1979-ish. And it will probably get me a little bit of trouble.....which has never stopped me before.


At this time, my family lived in Hoover, AL in a split level house on a cul-de-sac. Just looking at this picture reminds me of so many things. Even though I was only 11-ish, I can remember spending weekends working in the yard, camel crickets always in the basement, getting out of bed in the middle of the night for an electrical "fire", and watching the United States hockey team win the "Miracle on Ice".

But none of that is what this picture is about. It's about the person in the picture.






Yes, ladies and gentlemen, standing amidst the 1970's kitchen decor is my Momma. This is a picture of my mom in her "element"....the kitchen. During my childhood, my mom always served up three square meals. I'm not talking about Hamburger Helper either (thanks, Mom). Of course, this is not the place I'll talk about her making me sit at the table until my slimy and disgusting beets were gone.

She always served a good breakfast before school....one of my favorites being honey buns warmed in the oven. She packed a mean lunch in the Tupperware lunch box, which was often not complete without a note on the napkin saying "I love you". If my memory serves me correctly, she had a rotating dinner menu.....a dish she called "Rancho Beans" was another favorite of mine.

If you look closely in the photo there are a couple of other items in the photo that remain in my mom's kitchen to this day. Through the years, the tea pots have been replaced, because they are used on a daily basis. Her tea is always fresh, not too sweet, and decaffeinated only!

My favorite thing in that photo is the cookie jar, just to the right of the stove. Inside, my mom's chocolate chip cookies.....voted the "Best on Earth", by her family! Throughout my years in school, those cookies were requested for every classroom party. Mom, continues to keep the cookie jar full every time we go home.


Thank you Mom, for feeding me such great meals except the beets. You are so much more than just a great cook. You are a wonderful Mother in EVERY aspect of life. I love you dearly and hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!!

All four kids of the Best Mom on the planet, circa about 1980.