I’m sure many of you have received this e-mail on more than one occasion. It has always cracked me up. And after today I can completely verify it as accurate information.
***THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT MY ORIGINAL THOUGHTS***
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there’s no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home!
Exercise 1
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn’t effective enough.
Exercise 2
Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
Exercise 3
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!!
CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your mammogram!
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My suggestion would be to save this on your computer and get it back out somewhere around your 40th birthday and give it a little review.
Then you’ll be ready for your first mammogram!
Your welcome.
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7 comments:
uhmmm...now that I've been there done that as of yesterday..I can surely say it wasn't that bad!
I'm positive they had a plate warmer!
this is me mammy happy ;)
I sure hope not. I've got to call and schedule one. Big 40 this year in October.
Ha! Dawn and I had our mammos done just recently! I've had mine done since age 16.
Funny and I've never seen this before! Can't wait to show my Mom.
I had my first one when I was just 22 and have had to have them every few years since then I would have to agree these said tasks would greatly prepare you for one.
I wish I had made such preperations before my 1st one last summer. I can verify this is all 100% accurate.
Ack! I've got a few years to go, but I'm not looking forward to it! Thanks for a giggle, tho!
OH. NO.
You know, the cold, the smashing, the repeated cold and smashing? I am not near as wigged out about that as I am the handling of cold smashed self by stangers. I don't really want to be touched.
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