The Facts of Life

 

It’s ok, Mom, this post is family friendly.

 

I now know how Ms. Garrett felt.

 

Meet Princess Tootie:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, this post would not be complete without this:

 

Meet and Greet

NOTICE: I have added this post to this week's edition of Works for Me Wednesday...the backwards edition. Where the writers present a problem, and you, the reader, offer us possible solutions to our problem.

And since our gracious host, Kristen, dared me to post it....I felt obliged.

Remember this great from Sesame Street:

Who are the people in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neigh-bor-hood

OH, who are the people in your neighborhood, the people that you meet each day…..

Today I want you to meet a special person in my neighborhood. Meet, Larry…. whose real name is unknown.

Wait, what?

You don’t see a person? Just the tail lights of a car?

How could that be??

Oh wait, here’s a better view of Larry:

Drats, that darn post got in the way!

Huh?

You are wondering why the dog is next to the car???

Oh yea, that!

Meet LAZY Larry…. dog walker extraordinare.

He has a fine knack for taking his Husky dog for a “walk” while holding the leash OUT THE CAR WINDOW as he drives the 1/2 mile circle of our neighborhood.

Somebody get the Humane Society on the phone! What would Caesar Milan have to say about this???

It was about 60 degrees with BEAUTIFUL sunshine when I spotted Lazy Larry driving in front of my house today. What’s the big deal, you asked??

Well, Lazy Larry also has another special talent that has some neighbors and our mailman in an uproar:

Yep! Laziness at its finest internets.

Do you think Lazy Larry carries a “pooper scooper bag”. NOOOOooooooo, never. He just leaves is wherever it falls, so to speak. In the middle of the road today, but usually on the side of the road where our mailman has to deal with it as he delivers. Peee-eeewwww.

Lazy Larry, you are RUDE, RUDE, RUDE!

The vindictive little person inside of me wants to collect the goods and place them IN his mailbox. But the mailman happens to be a good friend of mine.

I do know for a fact this mess has been discussed with Larry by both a neighbor and the mailman. However, he continues to be LAZY.

All I know is I am SICK of this crap….literally.

What would you do about his situation in your neighborhood??

For more Works for Me Wednesday....go visit We are That Family HERE.

‘Fro Me to You— Stop and Go

 

Yikes, I cannot believe that it’s already time for the ‘Fro again.  I love it and therefore cannot miss it.

This week I bring to you a photo from a favorite childhood event.  But before I bust out the spectacular photo, let me tell a little story or two. 

This week’s photo has to do with roller skating.  And when I was a child, the only time I was allowed to roller skate was if it involved a birthday party or a church event.

Period.

No Friday or Saturday, your parents drop you off at the skating rink for a night of skating fun!  No ma’am. Never happened.  Not even once.   But I did love it so. 

No kidding, one of my favorite songs when I was young was “Knock Three Times on the Ceiling”…. which required skater participation by carefully tapping your skates 3 times (brilliant) on the skate floor.

And who couldn’t forget doing the Hokey Pokey on skates.  What orthopedic surgeon came up with that brilliant idea?!  Props to him.

And in the 80’s who couldn’t forget the “Couples Skate”, which wasn’t complete without a nice song by Journey and some boy’s sweaty hand. 

 

Without further babbling ado, I present to you one of the only photos I have of myself skating.  With good reason, I suppose.

I am about 6 or 7 here and clearly have skating fashion sense down to a fine art:

 

 

Yes, I am the beauty in the Pizza Hut tablecloth shirt complemented by the denim shortall complete with “GO” and “STOP” signs on each hip.  This entire ensemble is highlighted by your basic 70’s white knee sock and beige roller skate.  All for your viewing pleasure. 

The original Tammy skate design is almost overshadowed by the young lovely in the dingy white bell bottom and striped shirt ensemble.   She musta been rich, looks like she had her own white leather skates.

 

 

 

For more Sincerely ‘Fro Me to You fun, please go visit Marcy at The Glamorous Life Association HERE.  I double dog dare you to join in the fun.  Oooohhhh. 

Motown Madness

*WARNING* American Idol post follows.

We are now down to the Top 10. This is what I have been waiting for and will once again participate in live American Idol blogging. For your enjoyment, or not.

This week AI celebrates Motown! Woo-hoo! I must admit I do love some Motown hits and they got me through some LONG rides home during my college years. Nothing passes the time more quickly than a little “Stop in the Name of Love” complete with perfectly timed choreography….because I have both singing and dancing skillz (while driving only).

This weeks celebrity helper is Smokey Robinson. Ya’ think his eyes are really blue? Or is that green? And, wow, his skin is so, ummm, tight? And his teeth are so white and perfect. Moving on….

Matt-- Let’s Get It On”. He’s trying to put a good spin on a classic song. He looks like he’s in pain while attempting those high notes. I think his tight jeans may be helping him hit those notes. Shriek, Paula made a comment about “great, worn in jeans”??? The judges loved him, I did not.

Kris—”How Sweet It Is”. One of my favorite sing-a-long in the car songs. He sure is a cutie patootie and I really think he can sing. However, ADD girl is fixated on his shirt that looks like some sort of German military-prison camp shirt…complete with a set of numbers across each collar bone. Good performance. He is safe.

Scott-- “You Can’t Hurry Love”. He’s clearly most comfortable at the piano, but it all seems a bit karaoke-ish to me. And Paula “felt it”. Simon didn’t know how much more he could take. Randy thought it was the wrong song and Kara liked the rhythms (as she weirdly snapped and grooved in her chair). I thought it was just ok and I am worried about him moving on to next week.

*Insert weird moment where Paula dug under desk and handed Simon crayons and coloring books followed by calling him “childish”*

Megan—“For Once in My Life”. No doubt the girl has a set of pipes… and once again, ADD girl is mesmerized and distracted by that arm tattoo. Ooh, ooh, I think I saw a planet and a castle wall on it. Is that dress from the Carmen Miranda collection. Wow, that flower in her hair has sparkles…. Where was I? Not a good performance, all the judges agree. I think she just helped Scott stay one more week.

Anoop—“Ooo Baby Baby”. Zzzzzzzz…..*snore* I’m gonna’ need a little more pep from you my brotha’. His family is just the cutest. The judges think he’s had two good weeks but needs to turn it up next week. Glad to see the judges see things my way. I’m not sure he’ll be here next week.

Michael—“Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”. No doubt this boy can sing. Nothing too spectacular or bedazzling for me in his performance. The judges encouraged him to turn it up. His response, “I can sang”. I hope he gets a chance next week.

Lil Rounds—“Heat Wave”. Smokey said, “she could sing a phone book”. Girlfriend is looking good and man she can sing! Paula is standing and shaking it in her sausage casing dress….I hope there is a few second delay in case of a wardrobe malfunction. Yo’ Randy! Dawg, why you hatin’ on my girl??? I don’t care what the judges say…she’ll be back. And I think she’ll be in the top 3.

Adam—“Tracks of My Tears”. Just for the record, I think Smokey has had the tracks of his tears tightened a teensy weensy bit. Whoa, Adam’s hair is all slicked back like Bowser from Sha, Na, Na. I don’t really know how to rate a falsetto so I am leaving that alone. Kara gave him a standing O(vation). Paula thinks he cleans up nicely. Simon thinks he had THE best performance of the night. The Dawg agreed. Myeh, he’s not my style. But he did well.

Danny—“Get Ready”. Let me be clear here…he is my favorite. Winner, winner, chicken dinner (I’ve been dying to use that… *snicker*). BOO Simon for the “clumsy and amateurish” comment. Randy loved the “energy and feeling”. Kara is a “huge fan”. He will get my votes tonight.

Allison—“Papa was a Rolling Stone”. It’s hard to believe this girl is 16 years old with such a awesome voice. She’s good folks. And I’m certain me wearing those stiletto heels would involve a trip to the nearest emergency room. The judges loved her and think she is amazing. I have to agree.

Top Three: Lil Rounds, Danny, Allison

Bottom Three: Scott, Megan, Anoop

Going home: Anoop

What did YOU think?? For more American Idol Top 10 blog reviews, click on over to BooMama's place HERE.

Poo Magnetism

I never really had a nickname growing up. I wanted one.

Most people couldn’t pronounce my incredibly cool Greek name, so the names I did get called would certainly not fit into the “nickname” category.

College came and the nicknames started flying: Tameo, Pany, O-2, Cubby….blah blah blah.

Fast forward to my mid 20’s when a friend, for whatever reason, dubbed me as “Sprout”.

Yes, as in:

Anyway, it stuck, and in the Emergency Medical World I became known simply as “Sprout”. Many of the folks I worked with back then, still call me that to this very day.

Which (finally) brings me to this post’s title: Poo Magnetism.

What is it?

It is the STRONG ability one has to attract “POO” in a magnetic like fashion. (Not as in literal Poo, figurative Poo).

Who has it?

Me.

How does one know if they possess Poo Magnetism?

Their co-workers will tell them so.

Or at least mine did. And it didn’t take long for me to acquire that name.

Most of you know that I am a nurse anesthetist and have been for the past three years. A couple times a month, my job requires me to be “on-call” for 24 hours at the hospital. I am either in the OB unit with the lovely laboring ladies, or I am in the main operating room doing any manner of surgical case.

Sometimes the call person is up all night working and other times they are lucky enough to make it to the call room for some amount of sleep. If they are REALLY super duper lucky they go to the call room and sleep ALL NIGHT LONG (what a novel idea).

Guess what usually happens if you are a Poo Magnet?

Yep, you are up all night and usually attract some pretty yucky cases.

The very first night I took 24 hour call, I think I set the tone for my call career. You guessed it, I was up the ENTIRE night working.

Three years,

SEVERAL all nighters, and

MANY Poo cases later……

I wish I had never so strongly desired a nickname.

I guess it would be a bit much for me to sign the bottom of my charts:

Nurse Anesthetist Sprout, Poo Magnet extraordinaire

The Daniel Family

 

I want to introduce to you a family that needs our prayers.  I do not know them; however, we have a mutual friend who brought their story to my attention.

 

From their blog:

On March 18, 2009, Brittany was admitted to George Washington University Hospital with pregnancy complications at 24 weeks. By early evening her water had broken. This is the story of their journey through this pregnancy. Please pray with us!

 

Please go read there story HERE and pass it on.  They have a very long road ahead of them.

 

And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up . . . pray for each other so that you might be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:14-16

Who Dunnit?

 

Once again, the innocent art of downloading the family digital camera has revealed its hijacking by someone under the age of  *cough* forty *cough*.

Have no fear peeps,  I’ve seen enough episodes of Colombo, Kojak and Scooby-Doo to get to the bottom of this photo hijinx.

 

May I present to you Exhibits A, B, C:

 

 

  

      “Pearl”

 

 

 

 

 

     “Hedgie”

 

 

 

 

   

      “Samuel”

 

 

(These would all be the Webkinz of a certain someone)

 

 

Exhibit D: 

 

 

 

(Is it just me or does anyone else out there find baby dolls “sleeping” a bit CREEPY???)

 

I feel like Colombo is about to crack the case of the mystery photographer wide open!   But before we make a final conclusion lets look a little further.

 

 

Exhibit E:

 

Meet “Cocoa” the neighbor’s dog.  Taken by a certain someone through their bedroom blinds.

*insert mystery solving music*

 

 

Exhibit F, G, H: 

 

 

Bailey waiting on instructions to enter or looking for a pal to shoot some hoops.

 

 

 

What can I say, we are firm believers in hand washing and here’s the proof.

 

 

 

 

Hmmm, hubby and I studying something up in the tree??

 

 

 

 

(These last 3 photos have put a hole in my mystery photographer theory.  Because these could have been taken by one of two certain someones.)

 

But I think this last one may be more revealing,  or not.

 

 

Ummm, yea.  I think what we are looking at here is my probable suspect of 99% of the photos….well, except this one.  And this, of course, was taken by her accomplice who does a little better job of concealing his identity.  Notice he is in NONE of the photos. 

I need what?

I have been tagged by my dear bloggy friend, Aubree, over at The Southern Family. She just happens to be the “Southern Mama Blogger of the Week” over at Southern Living.

Anywhoo, for this Meme you have to head on over to Google and type in the phrase: "(Your name) needs" then list the top 10 results. The results can be quite amusing.

So here we go:

1. Tammy needs your prayers and good wishes (Well, if this won’t make the worry-wart paranoid, I don’t know what will.)

2. Tammy needs a baby (Ummm, NO SHE DOESN'T....that would be the end of my sanity as we all know it. And the Lord knows, that would not be funny at all.)

3. Tammy needs a performance installation that incorporates autobiographical text, original music and audience interaction. (So if any of you folks can help me with this I would be much obliged.)

4. Tammy needs constant care (Probably true and especially when chocolate is involved.)

5. Tammy needs the help of other dog lovers like you. (Yes, if anybody could tell me how to get my 13 year old Labrador to go out and immediately do her business without me standing there, that would be priceless!)

6. Tammy needs to know how much we are willing to do. (That depends on who "we" are and what "we" are doing)

7. Tammy needs clothes. (This IS so true....Staci?? Clinton?? are you here??)

8. Tammy needs us. (If "us" is a cook, maid, personal assistant and/or plastic surgeon then this is true)

9. Tammy needs a group in Spokane. ( I couldn't find Spokane on a map if my life depended on it…but I do know it’s in Washington state.)

10. Tammy needs to be informed. (nothing new here, I am always the last to know)

I’m not gonna tag anybody else but if you want to play along, let me know so I can stop by and see what YOU NEED!

‘Fro Me to You --- That 70’s Life

In this week’s edition of Sincerely Fro Me to You, I am going to share with you a glimpse back into the 1970’s.

For those of you that may have missed out on the decade with the best home decor, you are welcome.

And I won’t charge you a fee for these must have ideas.

Let’s take a look, shall we, into my childhood home:

Oh yes, and how, do I remember that awesome vinyl couch. Why the heck don’t we do that anymore?! The perfect fabric for the growing family. (if you can actually call vinyl fabric???)

And my mother was certainly the Martha Stewart of her time. Between decoupage, smocking, and hand-crafted washcloth pillows….she should have had her own TV show.

I would like to know what the HUMUNGO deal was with that horrible dark paneling. Oh, wait, it was the 70’s. Never mind.

And to think I failed to point out the awesome vinyl flooring that strongly resembled bricks.

And how about those slot machines?! Yes, they are real and actually worked. I have no idea if they were legal or not. We never had to move and change our names, so I guess it was all good.

You certainly won’t find any of these decorating ideas in In Style magazine or on HGTV. And this photo has certainly never been in any scrapbook!!

For more photo fun, click on over to Marcy’s at The Glamorous Life Association HERE. And while you’re there, read the “rules” and play along!

Spring has sprung

And thanks to a modern miracle, 3/4 of the GRITS household is Spring Break-ing this week. The poor hubby has to work all week.

We are having a stay-cation or a day-cation, whatever the hip term is for we are staying close to home and having a good time!

So stick around, I’m sure something blog worthy will happen and you will be the first to know.

Until then, enjoy my latest YouTube find:

*Drum Roll Please*

 

Over the last year, the Princess has been on a mission.  We decided a little over a year ago to grown her hair out for “Locks of Love”.

At various points in the process, we had meltdown moments and she was ready to abandon the project.  We said, “NO”.   We made a decision and WE were sticking to it.

And believe me, I was more than ready to cut that stringy mess off.  But I didn’t give in. 

And here we are today, with the culmination of our special project.  D-Day…. DONATION DAY!

 

 

Mission Accomplished:

 

 

 

 

 

Good bye 11 inch Lock of Love:

 

 

 

Now it’s time for a short and sassy new do:

 

 

 

 

 

The look on her face says it all:

 

 

 

(sorry, Daddy, I know you say little girls should have long hair…I have to agree, but only when it’s not short)

SFMtY—Sixteen Candles

Things I loved during the 1980’s:

*Add-a-bead necklaces

*Izod shirts

*Pink and Green

*Tretorn tennis shoes

*Levi’s Jeans

*My Penny-Farthing belt buckles with interchangeable leather bands to match my every preppy outfit

*Olan Mills photos (complete with realistic backdrops)

*Dressing like your twin sister for the perfect photo

In case you don’t believe me about my belt buckle:

All right, folks….you KNOW this is my favorite party in Blog-Land!! Get your pictures out and join Marcy of The Glamorous Life Association in her Thursday carnival. You’ll be glad you did!

Now click HERE to see all the other ‘Fro Me to You posts.

24

 

Hello, my name is Jack(ie) Bauer and I’ve been saving the laboring world…..one epidural at a time.

And it was with great excitement that Saturday’s “episode” could have been called 23, thanks to Daylight Savings Time.  I’ve never been more excited to give up an hour of my life.

 

I don’t watch 24 but from what I understand Jack Bauer and I live parallel lives…. we both save the world.  Him from bad guys and me from labor pains.  Similar?  I think yes!

“I'm federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life”

Funny, that’s exactly what I think every time I do a shift of 24 hour OB call!

 

Here’s a few things I typically encounter in any one shift:

 

Patient:  “I don’t like needles”

Me looking at THIS on their back:

 

Me thinking to myself: “Whatever”

 

 

I sometimes have the opportunity to brush up on my 9th grade Spanish.  Dolor = pain.  Ta-da, that’s it.  Oh, and I can ask where is the bathroom.  Which isn’t really pertinent here.   

I have noticed that when I have a Hispanic patient that speaks a little English, I am suddenly in a heated game of Charades.

Envision if you will:  Me standing, pointing at her belly asking “dolor”, then pointing to my back saying “epidural, no dolor”.  And for some reason I talk louder like that will make them understand.

Hey, Jack Baeur doesn’t speak any other language, why should I?

(Have no fear, I do use translators and we also have a cheat sheet to get proper consent.)

 

And the one thing I have to endure, that I’m sure Jack Baeur doesn’t, is pregnant women with an attitude.

Just this weekend I had a patient tell me, “this is ri-DIC-a-lous!”  (sound it out and that is exactly how she said it to me).    She wanted me to know that her legs were hurting because they were numb and she was not happy about that. 

Me: “So let me get this straight.  You don’t feel any of your labor pains and your legs are numb but they ‘hurt’?”

Patient: “Yea”

Me:  “It seems as if our epidural IS working properly and if the painful numbness continues to bother you as much as you are telling me, then the only thing I can do is turn off your epidural pump”

Patient:  “I’m good” 

I never heard back from her and she delivered a few hours later--- pain free.

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

 

Jack Baeur….he ain’t got nothing on me!  He wouldn’t make it working my 24 hours!

No Mo’ Bacon

 

It you like breakfast as much as I do, or even if you don’t YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS:

 

 

 

Breakfast will NEVER be the same for me.  How about you?

‘Fro Me to You – Announcement

 

Welcome to the first edition of the ‘Fro in a new location.

The Sincerely ‘Fro Me to You hostess is now Marcy at The Glamorous Life Association.   And this chick is fu-nny.  Take a minute to check out her hilarious blog.  I dare you!

To find out how to join in the ‘Fro Fun click on her fabulous button:

 

 

 

This week, I wanted to share with you a newspaper clipping from 1938!

I’m not sure when or from whom I got this, but it is very special to me and, no, it’s never been in ANY scrapbook. 

Some of you have met my Yaya HERE.  If not, she is my 93 year old Greek grandmother.

She was married to Gus, whom you may have met in a previous ‘Fro post HERE.

 

This is their marriage announcement from the newspaper!

 

 

 

So many things strike me about this announcement.   I love the way it reads “the attractive daughter”.  You don’t see that written today.  It reminds me I need to ask my dad why they got married in NYC.  And, wow, they got married June 19 and “are expected to return…..August 1”.  A six week honeymoon, folks!!! 

I love that she is just as beautiful today as she was then. 

And it makes me hope there are more photos somewhere of their wedding and travels.  Because THAT should be in a scrapbook!

 

So as we keep the ‘Fro going….head on over to Marcy’s HERE and check out more of the Sincerely ‘Fro Me to You posts.

Wordless Wednesday--A Magic Place

January 2006

More Wordless Wednesday posts HERE at 5 Minutes for Mom.

It’s ALL true

 

I’m sure many of you have received this e-mail on more than one occasion.  It has always cracked me up.  And after today I can completely verify it as accurate information.

 

***THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT MY ORIGINAL THOUGHTS***

 

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there’s no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home!

Exercise 1

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn’t effective enough.

Exercise 2

Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Exercise 3

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!!

 

CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your mammogram!

 

-------------------------------------------------------

 

My suggestion would be to save this on your computer and get it back out somewhere around your 40th birthday and give it a little review.

 

Then you’ll be ready for your first mammogram!

 

Your welcome.

The real deal

 

The Bible says, “Ask and ye shall receive”

 

We asked and we received….finally.

 

IT SNOWED ON SATURDAY!!!

In ALABAMA!

Sorry.  *regaining composure*

 

 

The last time we had an accumulation of snow, it was 1997, and our family looked like this:

 

The hubby and I had four-legged, furry “children” and I was wearing “mom” jeans.

 

Indulge me here, please. 

 

This was my kids first “big” snow.  Yes, I used the word BIG for 3” of snow.

No snickering from you folks in the North. 

The most excitement we get from weather in these parts is Spring tornadoes and Summer hurricanes.  We are encouraged by our local meteorologists to have a “weather plan” that involves a “safe place”. 

But every winter, we are occasionally teased with the “S” word.  Which usually involves a trip to the grocery store for bread and milk.  Seriously.  I guess everyone dines on bread sandwiches with a side of milk.  I have never understood it, but it’s the truth. 

Snow reports always get the kids get excited and then NOTHING happens.  Then you have to explain that meteorologists are human and make weather mistakes, and snow in the South is very rare.

However,  today I present you with the GRITS family blizzard snow pictures from 2009:

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, for your viewing pleasure, I videotaped the making of their very first snow angels:

 

Snow Angels

 

(FYI- this video was taken in our first trip out at 7AM….the angels were actually covered up by the time we went back out at 11AM)

 

Thanks for indulging me….

 

We now return to our regularly scheduled weather.  Highs in the 70’s by the end of the week.