The not-so-hip(hop) Mom

So, summer break is officially in session and I've finally got a few days off from work.....thank the Lord. The kids have swim practice 4 mornings a week and this week we've squeezed in Vacation Bible School.

Let me preface this whole story by a hopefully brief explanation. I grew up in a house where my dad owned a radio station....not just ANY radio station. A station whose claim to fame was "easy listening" music, which can also be defined as music with no lyrics, elevator music, Musak, and lastly, doctor's office music. You get the picture.

As I grew older, for various reasons, I wasn't really allowed to listen to popular music. I mostly grew up listening to Contemporary Christian music. However, in my adulthood I have grown to love some of the music I "missed out" on as a youth.

My iPod is mostly filled with Contemporary Christian music with a small variety of other music genres. My car radio is usually on the local Christian station but on occasion I switch it to other stations.

I'm also VERY bad at "name that tune" and "who sings that song", unless it is Michael W. Smith.


(which FINALLY brings me to the purpose of today's post)

Yesterday the kids and I are riding in the car, I switch the radio from one station to another. Fate had me stop on a local pop-rock station. After a few seconds, I notice the Princess singing ALL the words to the song on the radio. Then the following conversation occurred:

Me: "Princess, how do you know this song? I've never heard it."

Princess: "This song is 'Fireflies'"

Me: "Oh, really?"

LegoMan: "Owl City sings it, Mom"

Me: "What? Who? Owl City?"

LegoMan: "You've never heard of Owl City????" (followed by a laugh)

Me: "Whatever"


Because everyone likes smarty-pants-know-it-all kids. Right?!


In case you are not in the know, here's the song:

The Labrador Diaries -- Volume 3

If curiosity killed the cat.....then what does it do to Labradors???


The Alpha-Dog was out with this container pouring water on her plants....guess what, it's not just for plants! It's an upside down water bowl and we LOVED it!







Sophie: The little girl left this on the couch. After several attempts at making it mine, the humans let me wear it around for a bit. It looks prettier than it feels.

Allie: I LOVE the taste of the plants in our backyard. I wasn't sure if the humans would notice some of the branches missing on the plants. The Alpha-Dog did...I don't think she saw me hiding from her?!





Last Wednesday, we finally got to go for a ride in one of those big things with wheels! We loved it so much. The man human left us at this little yellow building and we even got to spend the night. When he came back to pick us up, our bellies hurt and we had to wear these ridiculous things everyday! We are the laughing stock of the house and our backyard. The dog next door, just couldn't seem to get hold of himself as we made our debut in the yard.

We do not like the cone of shame!

Meet our newest hero, Doug:







We've only been allowed to go outside for just a few minutes. No chasing squirrels, no running amok, and absolutely no rough housing.....doctor's orders. We've been living life in the slow lane and behind bars:










Don't tell the Alpha-Dog this, but we sure will be glad when we get these ridiculous radar dishes off our head and are back protecting our outdoor domain! We're almost certain she's enjoyed having us inside all day long on her 4 day weekend.....or not.

Home School Much? No thanks.

So, yesterday I had a day off.....I slept in until 8AM, I had no plans for the day. I was minding my own business, watching the Today Show and sipping on a delicious cup of hot coffee....when my phone rang.

"Hello"

"Hi Mama"

"Hi Princess, what's the matter?"

"My stomach hurts."

"It does?"

"Yes ma'am. My teacher gave me some Pepto, but it still hurts."

Never mind the rest of the conversation except this, "Princess, tell your teacher I am on the way to get you and that you need all of your school work for today."


I picked up the Princess, her hurting stomach, and her full backpack from school around 10AM. I quickly assessed the situation and knew there was no immediate danger of stomach problems, so we took a detour on the way home to Hobby Lobby. We had to get all the supplies needed for a t-shirt book report project due this Friday.

We got home, the Princess quickly threw her backpack down, plopped on the couch and almost immediately informed me there was nothing to watch on TV. I told her it didn't matter because the TV was being turned off because she had school work that needed to be done.

I believe there was an loud HUFF-ing sound as I made her sit down at the table to begin Mama's Home School for the "sick".

We did math sheets, science, grammar and got most of her t-shirt project done. Of course, I'm not sure who was tortured more by Mama's Home School.....me or her.

For those of you who home school and to those that are called to teach.....BLESS YOU and THANK YOU!


(FYI, we've seen the doctor about the Princess and her stomach. No 8 year old child was harmed in the writing of this post.)

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world

and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me..

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Happy Mother's Day, y'all!

Where my kids at??

This is my newest favorite video on YouTube and I had to share it with my blogging peeps. I think this is marketing at it's finest.

Flashback Friday -- The Cook

This week's Flashback Friday picture takes me back to somewhere around 1979-ish. And it will probably get me a little bit of trouble.....which has never stopped me before.


At this time, my family lived in Hoover, AL in a split level house on a cul-de-sac. Just looking at this picture reminds me of so many things. Even though I was only 11-ish, I can remember spending weekends working in the yard, camel crickets always in the basement, getting out of bed in the middle of the night for an electrical "fire", and watching the United States hockey team win the "Miracle on Ice".

But none of that is what this picture is about. It's about the person in the picture.






Yes, ladies and gentlemen, standing amidst the 1970's kitchen decor is my Momma. This is a picture of my mom in her "element"....the kitchen. During my childhood, my mom always served up three square meals. I'm not talking about Hamburger Helper either (thanks, Mom). Of course, this is not the place I'll talk about her making me sit at the table until my slimy and disgusting beets were gone.

She always served a good breakfast before school....one of my favorites being honey buns warmed in the oven. She packed a mean lunch in the Tupperware lunch box, which was often not complete without a note on the napkin saying "I love you". If my memory serves me correctly, she had a rotating dinner menu.....a dish she called "Rancho Beans" was another favorite of mine.

If you look closely in the photo there are a couple of other items in the photo that remain in my mom's kitchen to this day. Through the years, the tea pots have been replaced, because they are used on a daily basis. Her tea is always fresh, not too sweet, and decaffeinated only!

My favorite thing in that photo is the cookie jar, just to the right of the stove. Inside, my mom's chocolate chip cookies.....voted the "Best on Earth", by her family! Throughout my years in school, those cookies were requested for every classroom party. Mom, continues to keep the cookie jar full every time we go home.


Thank you Mom, for feeding me such great meals except the beets. You are so much more than just a great cook. You are a wonderful Mother in EVERY aspect of life. I love you dearly and hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!!

All four kids of the Best Mom on the planet, circa about 1980.

The Labrador Diaries -- Volume 2

The Alpha-Dog has left the building for a few days which allowed us to hijack the blog again and let you know what we've been up to.


2 months later, and I think we are officially settled in and loving our new family. We stay outside for most of the day and when the humans come home they play with us, feed us dinner, and take us on a walk around our neighborhood. We sure do love that walk outside our compound yard.


We are not normally allowed in any other room of the house except the great room; however, the humans sometimes forget to put up the gate that keeps us out of the rest of the house. We love to make a mad dash down the hall and find our way into their sleeping dens. Alas, we are usually quickly captured and returned to our proper area. Drats!


Allie got the thrill of her life when the boy let her stay in his room for a while. Lucky dog.







Sometimes we get a little bored outside. What's a dog to do? How about this:



I am Sophie, Queen of the Woooooorld! I bet the humans won't leave the chairs out from the table again. Of course, I won't get up there again. Do you know how HIGH it is up there??? I was scared to death and needed assistance getting down.



We love the patio furniture....it's a great place for a nap and also for hiding under when we are playing Hide-N-Seek. You won't believe just how comfortable those chair cushions are! They rank right up there with a Tempur-pedic bed. We could lounge on them all day:



That is, if the Alpha-Dog ever puts them back on the chairs.

Until next time, we are still Sophie and Allie.

Strummin' on the ol' banjo GIT-tar

This post is more for grandparents than anyone. The Princess has been taking guitar lessons once a week since last fall. I've not really been sure what kind of progress she's made because it's like pulling teeth to get her to practice at home. However, I finally got her to play a couple of songs for me and she's actually learned a few things.

This first video was taken about a month ago:

I knew she had been working on a Taylor Swift song and Monday she informed me she had learned almost the whole song. So, naturally, I had to get a video of her progress. I was blown away. This video is almost 5 minutes long, she just kept playing and playing and playing.....

That there is progress, folks!

Greetings and Salutations

Look who's back at the typewriter.....that's 80's talk for look who's back at the KEYBOARD.


I'm not sure why I always feel compelled to explain when I step back and take a break away from my Big Fat Greek Blog. I just do.

When I was encouraged to start this little corner of the Internet, I had no idea what I was doing or where I would go with this whole blog thing. I still have no clue what I am doing, but I am still here over 3 years later and 350+ posts. I even have over 70 followers, how cRaZY is that? Of course, I have no idea how many of those 74 followers actually read my posts. But I HAVE followers! Yesterday I logged in to find that I had lost 1 follower and for some reason it hurt my feelings.

I'll be honest, sometimes I think about shutting this place down.....wondering if anybody in the blog-o-sphere would actually miss the GRITS place. But, ya' know, I didn't exactly create this space with anybody else in mind. I never dreamed that if I "built" it, "they" would come. Through this blog I have met so many people from, literally, all over the world....some of whom I have met in real life and others I hope to meet one day. The blog world is a huge place, filled to the brim with some very wonderful people. If you don't know it....click on some of my blog links in the sidebar for a start.


This space was initially created for family members to keep up with us and somehow it turned into a place for me to foster my slightly creative side. When I say creative, I sure as heck don't mean grammatically correct, hanging on the edge of your seat, or thought provoking writings. My middle and high school English teachers would shudder to hear that I was writing material that other people actually read. My book reports and term papers often looked like someone turned a toddler with a red ink pen loose on them . But those memories didn't stop me from blogging....no siree! I have overcome the wrath of the red pen, because I'm strong like that.


If it's not blatantly obvious, humor plays a HUGE role in my life. I really like to make people laugh and I LOVE to laugh. Too bad "funny" is not on the spiritual gift list, but would it be bold for me to call it my ministry? People tell me I am funny. My mother thinks I should write books like Erma Bombeck.....which cracks me up! Besides, she's my mom and she's required to say stuff like that. (I love you, Mom) However, I wouldn't say I am the funniest person on Earth; but, I do like to incorporate humor in almost every aspect of my life on a daily basis.


I have spent the last 15 years of my life in the medical field both as Critical Care Nurse and now as a Nurse Anesthetist. My job can be VERY stressful. I have seen and dealt with a lot of heaviness and sadness on a regular basis. For me, humor is every bit a part of my uniform as much as my ID badge. I have been known to lighten the mood before surgery by telling a male patient, "I think you will be very pleased with your breast implants!"


This blog is just another outlet for me.....a place where laughing is the rule of the land most days. I might not be here regularly and you might not even notice. You know what? That's ok with me.

I don't really have a personal mission statement, but if I did it would have something to do with using humor to bring a smile to at least one person's face each day.

Race Day

(I posted this originally on April 27, 2008....many of you missed it so here it is again.)


"Gentlemen! Start Your Engines!!!" That was the cry from Talladega Super Speedway here in Alabama today. It was the Aaron's 499.

This post will be most curious to those that know me in real life because I am NOT a NASCAR race fan in any way, shape, or form. However, once again, I felt compelled to post about something that I am not really informed about. So maybe I will know more. You know, like doing a research paper back in high school. Yea that's it.

If you live in the South you know that people have certain stigma's they associate when you tell them that's where you live. For example, they think we all have tractors, wear no shoes and still use outdoor bathrooms. The same goes with NASCAR racing. And I'm sure the movie "Talladega Nights" did nothing for folk's mental image of this so-called sport. Shake and Bake, Ricky Bobby.

When I image googled "NASCAR fans" this is the second photo that came up:



No, I did not have permission from these gentlemen to use their photo. Somehow I think they would have another round, high-five one another and holler "WHOOOOOOOO" if they saw it.

However, after a little bit of searching I found that the NASCAR fan base stretches far beyond the backyard BBQ fellas as seen above. Take for example this:



This would be a photo from an article in the NY Times about race fans who have penthouse condos that over look raceways. This little jewel was about $500,000. So, see, rich folks like NASCAR too.

My conclusion about the racing fan base is people, who transcend all walks of life and socioeconomic levels enjoy watching cars go round and round in circles for hours at a time. Interesting. Very interesting.

I can't really call the hubby a devout NASCAR fan, but he did have some reason to turn it on today after church. Perhaps to get me in the right frame of mind for my usual Sunday afternoon nap. Because not long after the engine revving began, I was out like a light bulb. Only to wake up with about 48 laps to go (that sounded a bit like an informed watcher, huh). Before I knew it, I was mesmerized by those cars going around lap, after lap, after lap. Then *CRASH* and out came the yellow flag. You think in a sport that involves cars going 200mph they would have something other than a handkerchief on a stick to let folks know there's a problem. I found myself watching and waiting for another crash. Kinda like going to a hockey game and hoping there's a good fight!

Another thing that totally amused me were the announcers in suits and ties. I don't know why, but for some reason I envisioned them to be in Bud Light shirts and jeans or something like that. I know, I know that is very judgmental of me and I'm sorry. My husband informed me they are paid professionals. Ohhhh! Sorry guys.

Finally, how does one pick who they cheer for in this sport? Is it the guy driving the car with your favorite number, the cutest driver, the one wearing your favorite colors? Is it passed down in the family--kinda like being an Alabama football fan? Who knows. I went outside the bounds of logic today and simply chose the guy sponsored by one of my favorite things. Who could cheer for any other car when there's some guy driving around in a cute little car with ginormous M&M's on it??? I mean really. And to boot, I *think* there was a giant Snickers bar on the back of the car. Awesome. Seems like there should be a sticker for a PMS pill on there too. It just seems.



I must have done something right. My guy actually won. Woooo hooooo. Anyway, today I have investigated this sport that intrigues so many. Have I now become another crazed NASCAR fan? Certainly not. But I can chalk this up in the "learned something new today" category of my life. And you can too!