Food Critic Numero Uno

I’d like to think my skills as a food critic began way back in my college days. Perhaps, Teresa would be willing to share and verify this memory.

I don’t like to brag, but I am almost positive I was solely responsible for Rick, the dining hall manager, removing all comment cards from the premises.

I didn’t want to shut down the only place to eat on campus, I just wanted change. I wanted my newly found “voice” to be heard.

You must agree there is something inherently wrong with ham that is served in a tray whilst submerged under a watery liquid. And wouldn’t you say that pimento’s sprinkled in every vegetable for “presentation” is a bit much.

My ability to critique food has only improved as time has gone by.

Which brings me to my most recent restaurant critique.

Imagine the excitement and palpitations I experienced as I saw the Greek flag flying outside a newly renovated restaurant that is less than 2 miles from my house.

I watched and waited….and this weekend the sign went up. NOW OPEN!

And tonight was the night…..the night I realized I am a Greek food snob.

If there is such a thing. I feel certain there is and I am.

The food was just all right with me. The portions were VERY small for the price they charged. I had to send my lamb back because when I cut into it the meat it actually baa’d. Really.

The menu selections were quite limited.

The kids menu, nonexistent. Although, they did charge kids entrees half price. But when the entree is almost $20 that a kids meal for $10!! Which is too much $$$$.

I’m not sure a mason jars over wall sconces are an official Greek accent. Might I suggest a few more white Corinthian columns spattered throughout. Or perhaps a few white statues in togas and definitely some Greek music playing just to help out with the ambiance.

Now for a few tips, you know, in case the owners happen to read my blog because they searched google for authentic Greek restaurant tips.

(Dad, you may want to look away now, because you may find all this shocking).

Contrary to popular opinion, Greek folks do not eat buttered Texas Toast spattered with oregano all over it as an appetizer.

Also, we do not traditionally eat Tsatsiki – the yogurt cucumber dip- on EVERY thing that comes to the table, especially spanikopita. It’s just wrong.

As best I know, HUMMUS is not a Greek dish, although I do love it. And when you serve it as a side dish, you need something for it to be spread on. And not the afore mentioned Greek style Texas Toast.

Last but not least, a “Greek pastry variety plate” for $3.99 should have more than 4 thumb sized pastries on your ginourmous green melamine plate. It should include baklava stacked in the shape of a the acropolis! Just my opinion.

MUCH to my dismay, I got a two for one trip tonight to our new “Greek” restaurant….my first trip and my last trip.

Mr. GRITS is willing to give it one more try. I’m out. With this Greek girl, you only get one shot to wow me.

I give the place 6 months.

And I’d be willing to bet this restaurant is not owned by anybody with a name ending in –opoulos or any other vowel filled name.

This Greek food critic is over and out. OPA!