Friday, November 7, 2008

Patiently waiting


For the last 10 years, I have always enjoyed a trip to see my doctor because I am generally the youngest person in the waiting room by DECADES!  Today was no different.  The person closest to my age today was probably 65.  And when you spend a little time with that many “seasoned” people, things happen.

As I pulled into the parking lot today, there was a near collision between a Buick and Oldsmobile while backing out of their spaces.  I approached the area with great caution and hurriedly headed toward the door.

While I patiently waited for my name to be called I began taking notes of all the things going on around me in that waiting room. 

Why?  Because I need to know what to do as I get older.  Plus I certainly had nothing better to do and I’m always on the look out for good blog material.

First of all, I immediately noticed the waiting room was about 80 degrees.  And I’m almost positive I was the only one that did not have a stitch of fleece on my body.

There seemed to be a lot of LOUD repeating going on around me.  “NO.  You are here to get your blood drawn!”  Of course, it could have been hard to hear over the man sound asleep snoring in the chair adjacent to mine.

Note to self, schedule appointment WITH hubby for the same day and time, that way we can “knock it out” in just one trip.  These folks are brilliant.

FOUR WORDS:  Elastic waistband, SAS shoes.

Top three hair colors:  Paula Deen grey, Lucille Ball red, and Betty Rubble black.

I don’t suppose bald is a hair color.

I also noticed a sign on each bathroom door, which thankfully I could still read from the back corner chair.  The signs read, “NO SMOKING”.  Which only verifies to me that someone did and warranted the sign.

Because the TV was on some liberal slanted news channel I decided to check out a few magazines.  Anybody need me to catch them up on the latest issues of LARGE PRINT Reader’s Digest, AARP, or Modern Maturity??? 

I was so relieved when the nurse called my name.  Because the last few minutes prior I watched in awe as the elderly gentleman next to me groomed his nails with what appeared to be a machete size pocket-knife. 

I thought the doctor’s office fun was finally done until I saw this in my exam room:



Nothing better than an interactive Viagra calculator to help men calculate their E.D. number while they wait.  Notice the buttons and readout screen on the bottom right.   Seems to me the print on this is way TOO small for the age man I saw in the waiting room.  Which leads me to suspect it was developed by a older woman.


So next time you are at your doctor’s office, pay attention.  You just might miss something!


Sandra said...

I enjoyed the blog. Did you also see a sign that lets you assess if you need Detrol? Did they ask if you have an advance directive?

Thanks for sharing.

Well Behaved Krissy said...

Thats a HOOT!

Yaya said...

so why are you going to a geriatrics doctor. must be something good about those good ole people. haha

Jennifer Raack said...

That's so funny! I went to the cardiologist one time and had a similar experience with those around me. Of course, I enjoy conversation with those more seasoned than me so I just kind of chimed in.....I guess I could call it practice for old!

Valarie said...

A viagra calculator? You have got to be kidding!

The Source said...

Ahh...I feel like an old woman at the Gynecologist's office nowadays. Since none of my "parts" work anymore...what's the point? I'm sitting there amongst the Parenting mags & the birth control ads...feeling like a has been. Or, you know, I'm thinking "FREEDOM!"